Sometimes we are faced with making decisions that are not going to be the rose colored glasses everyone wishes to wear. Sometimes those boundaries that are so very necessary to align with the human that we are will feel harsh, unkind and lonely. They will keep us awake at night and sometimes cause us to second guess what we have done. It’s okay.
It’s okay because in the course of any lifetime we will often be confronted by cold winter winds and desert storms of blowing sand that require us to protect ourselves and others. Boundaries are not walls. They are important pieces of each of us. They allow us to let others know that there are things that are simply not okay. And, it’s not because we don’t love or don’t care. In fact, it’s very much because we do love and we do care. That love and care is not just for the protection of others, but also for the important understanding that in order to be the best we can be for others we must also be the best we can be to ourselves.
When we compromise the core of who we are we are telling ourselves that we are not valuable. And, in time; this translates to others that we are mats that they are welcome to step on, wipe their dirt ridden demons on, but not help in the heaviness that so much pressure can leave behind.
We all have demons. We all have the corners that light has not touched and very few have seen. Once and awhile they become exposed. I have often carried the shadows of my own and others. And, I am certain that as the human I continue to fall into being, I will never cease to do such lifting. But, under no circumstances must I allow myself to carry the weight so heavily that I feel I am the reason for the pain that has wafted over the soul(s) of others. I did not chose the path. I did not bring to the table what is falling down and away from the comfort of what one wishes/wants to be. In the light of empathy and as one who is very much an empath this is not an easy task.
We are all one decision away from anything being different. That different is not always easily defined and often so hard to understand. Sometimes it can lift us like the whispering pines on mountain tops filled with starlight and whisps, and sometimes that different can drag us behind trains of our overwhelmed and anxious driven minds leaving us bloody and bruised. And, while there are often things that happen in our living that contribute to the choices we make (the things that we have done and do) we have to push ourselves. We have to fight through the tormented pieces of shadows and dark places that allowed our beings to travel from the light. What we must not do is look at the light of others and try to extinguish it because they were brave enough to put a boundary in place for protection of that light, and ultimately for the protection of those who came to them.
Light is a gift. It is something that is warm and good. It allows a glimpse of hope and possibility. It allows for one human soul to show another that there is a place in this world that is filled with comfort, safety and love. With that light comes respect, understanding, and value. A kindness that translates into one human seeing the truth, honesty and bravery in another when even in the fierceness of the love they give some of the most heart felt and most difficult love pieces are the boundaries that are needed now and again. Not to keep anyone out. No, boundaries are not designed to turn people away. They are intended to show that I as a human respect and love myself enough to know that without this piece in place I cannot respect and love another. It shows you that I value the sanctity of my spirit. My core. The essence of all that puts forth the energy and love of who I am. And by doing so…I hold/honor/respect all of the same within another.