It is not easy digging deep and under the layers of vulnerability to allow our authentic selves surface through. It can emulate looking at a frozen lake where a layer of water melt has replaced the snow white landscape. You are consciously aware that it is okay to walk on the thickened layers of ice, but seeing the water’s transparency beneath your feet and watching the liquid movement through mirrored glass as you place your foot down causes you to become overwhelmed with an exposure of fear.
What if I fall through? What if the iced layers fail to protect me and others are able to see everything contained underneath them. It can appear/feel like an unintentional drowning. When we spend so much time freezing our truth(s) in a sort of vessel of undisclosed time, any melting of the protected layers can feel like a certain death.
If they really see me, will they still value/like me? The fearful feelings can penetrate you like a razor sharp icy shard dancing on the edge of sanity. But, this can be so very damaging. Harboring ourselves to the point of weighted movement(s) is like an illness we choose to ignore. We know it’s there, we know it needs to come out, but we ignore it out the fear of exposure.
No one needs to throw themselves across a glass water pond. Falling on the ice can be painful, but it’s okay to walk gently with ourselves. It’s okay to stand in the moments that want to push us under. The moments that attempt to grab us at the ankles and shackle us down. Gently resist these moments with fierce intensity. Allow for the first step to glide your movements into skating across the frozen tundra unfurled before you. Pushing the surfaced water aside and leaving carved out ice trails underneath.
Those trails make us human, and those trails lead us to connection. In the end it is the vulnerability of walking on the ice that slowly erases the fear of falling through. And when we spin ourselves the truth of who we really are, we’ll never want for anything more. We will want to relish in its moments, and we’ll never want for anything more than to always stand with the truth(s) shining brightly and not to be extinguished. It’s who you are. It’s you are meant to be. It’s the one thing you have that nothing in this world can take from you. Own it. Live it. Be it. Wrap yourself in it.